ICE.COLD.COFFEE

This is the third day of nationals and I have 2 events. 50m breaststroke and medley relay.

I started the day with my dental appointment. I tightened my braces, and it wasn't as pain as I expected it to be. Haven't seen Dr Woo for a long time now. Somehow, I suddenly feel that she's very nice and friendly. Haha...

After that, met Vivien at Toa Payoh to go to the pool. None of the girls have events in the morning, but Vivien wanted to support her cute guy so I accompanied her since I wasn't going to school after my appointment.

The guys did ok, but as expected, not good enough to get into the finals.

We went for lunch at the foodcourt. After eating, we went to some place with lots of chairs and air con to just sit and talk. There was this cute baby girl in the row in front of us and we were playing with her. She's so so so cute!!!

My 50m breaststroke event is a little after lunch. At first, I wasn't nervous because I had done this before. Besides, it wasn't my first event this nationals. But as it got closer and closer, I got so terribly nervous. The warm up didn't feel good. And I was just not feeling on form.

The other girls taking part in this event - Cheryl, Jovena and Jia Yi - were all very nervous, this being their first time. I was trying to tell them that there was nothing to be afraid of. But, I was just so scared inside myself.

That feeling sort of built up inside me since I didn't want to show the juniors that I was also nervous. I was supposed to encourage them, not scare them even more. And I also felt pressure to do better than the 48.62s I did last year. It was seriously a lot of stress. And I think I sort of purposely pressured myself so that I would do better. I don't know...

Before reporting, I listened to music on my MP3 and honestly, I almost cried because I was under so much pressure!

I think Ngang Ju could tell it too cos I asked to hug her before I went to the reporting station...

Cheryl and Jia Yi were in heat 1. Both of them did 57s, although Cheryl was a quarter of a second faster than Jia Yi. That result was good for Jia Yi, but Cheryl was disappointed. She could have done better. All of us knew that.

Jovena was in heat 2. She did 1 minute. That was kinda what she expected I guess.

When it was my turn, Cheryl and Jia Yi were beside me since they already finished their races and came back to get their stuff. I went to hug Jia Yi too. Think I like to hug people when I get stressed...

The race started, and for the first part of the race, I seriously don't remember what happened at all. I only remember that by 25m, I was already tired and was just doing high frequency swimming. But I just wasn't gliding enough! I felt like I was a drowning frog or something, struggling in the water...

I finally reached the end and my timing is 50.10s.

:(

:(

:(

!!!!!

I was really sad. This possiblity of me not doing well had struck me before. But I was so hoping that it wouldn't come true.

Now that it did, I guess it may be because I didn't train that hard.

I went to warm down, then went back to the others.

Fabian said I didn't do my chang hua bi! After plunging, I just came out of the water. No pull, no kick!

ARGH! :(

I really can't remember what happened at all, and I was pressurising myself so much that I just wanted to get to the other side asap, never mind how I did it. In the end, I ended up slower.

A real big disappointment!

Although it was over, I was still worried because I was taking part in the medley relay and I didn't want to pull the others down. I know we want to get into the finals real bad!

And it didn't help that Fabian and Ding Yong were sort of pressurising me not to make the same mistakes for the relay...

I was seriously stressed and listened to my MP3 to try to calm myself down. And I admit that I cried, a little little bit, cos I was so terribly disappointed with myself.

If I weren't that nervous, I'm sure I would have done better. Probably even better than last year.

The relay was coming up, and I tried to take the pressure away cos I knew that it was the thing that was causing me to make mistakes.

There were only 9 teams in the heats, and 8 teams will go into the finals. We just had to beat one team. This was really important to us because it just may be the only final that the girls have.

Luckily, there was a announcement.

Sort of a miracle:

The heats for the A division medley relay was cancelled and we'll go straight to the finals!

We were all happy!

It may be because one of the teams withdrew from the event, so we automatically qualify.

It was good for me too, cos I wasn't sure I could swim well then.

Without that event, the only event left for VJ today was the guys medley relay. They had to beat 3 teams to get to the finals. Wih much cheering and impressive swimming from all of the 4 guys, the team came in 5th and qualified for the finals. We were all so glad!

That was also that last event of the day, and we went back after that.

Overall, today was not only a physically draining, but mentally exhaustive day for me. I've never felt so many complicated and mixed feelings before. But at least now I know that I shouldn't pressure myself too much, otherwise things could turn out worse.

I'll probably forgive myself for today's performance if I do well for the relay.

Today's results:
50m breaststroke
Event: 06-04
Heat: 3
Lane: 1
Personal best: 48.62s
Today's timing: 50.10s