ICE.COLD.COFFEE

Actually, it's one in twenty-two.

I went for a PSC tea session for provisional scholars today, and I was pleased to find that only 22 provisional scholarships were given out this year, and I'm one of them! Haha... I feel really honoured, and I can't believe that this is happening to me.

I used to think that PSC scholarships were very, very prestigious, that I would never even have the chance to know anyone great enough who got the scholarship. And now it's happening to me.

Not that it's not that great now, just that it seems more real to me.

When I think about it, I still can't believe that all this is happening to me.

Before A's, I never thought of even applying for the scholarship at all. I thought it would be zero chance. I wouldn't be able to get the grades good enough, nor pass the stringent selection interviews.

All thanks to Sally who asked me to accompany her to a PSC tea session. I didn't want to go initially, cos I had no one going with me, and I felt there wasn't a need to (since I had no chance at the scholarship). But I decided to go take a look, and was persuaded to send in my application.

I just took it as a chance to gain experience, even if I didn't make it.

When I got the call to go for the interview, I was excited, and happy. I didn't know anyone else who got called for the interview.

After the panel interview, I remembered going to the toilet to cry. I was disappointed with myself. I didn't know the answers to some of the questions, and some of the interviewers were quite harsh. I wan't optimistic about the results at all, and I took it as experience gained.

Even now, I'm still not sure what they see in me. And I'm not trying to be humble here. Maybe it's because I'm just like that - I don't see me as being good. If someone else had exactly the same results as me, the same CCA records, I'll probably think that person is wonderful. I just can't see myself as being that person.

I guess this kind of thinking helps too. That's why I never think I'm too good, I never stop at what I already have. Because I feel I'm never good enough. Anyway, enough of this already. I should trust myself more, since I already have confirmation that I have what it take to be a PSC scholar.

So when I got the acceptance letter, I was estatic of course! And now here I am, going for tea sessions for provisional scholars.

It all depends on my results now. I heard A's are coming out on Friday. Cos the NS guys have their Friday schedules marked as "Admin", or so I heard.

The PSC officers at the tea session assured me that grades aren't everything. There was a President Scholar who didn't get straight A's, but he became the President Scholar anyway. So I'm not so nervous now.

I can't wait for A's to be released! I dying of anticipation.

congratulations!!!

haha, u must be very very happy. ;D

hee, although i am dreading the day the results are released.