ICE.COLD.COFFEE

I just received an email from PSC last night that my grades have qualified me for the scholarship!

My first reaction was that I'm super, super happy. Later, I felt kinda angry. Know why?

Cos they had to take so long to decide that I qualified for the scholarship, that I already sent in my applications to the other scholarhip organisations, and had to write more than 5 essays about myself, not to forget I had to take 2 days of leave to write them. Irritating! Couldn't they have told me earlier?

Anyway, I feel more happy than angry. I'm glad that they still want me despite my one merit and one ungraded S papers results.

I once heard from a teacher that it's often the case where the same few students will receive multiple scholarship offers, while the others won't even get one. Sure feels good to know that I'm probably in the top section. Ha!

I'm a little confused as to whether I really, really want the scholarship though. I think I'll probably take it, but I'm afraid of all the expectations that come with it. Their Management Associates Programme sounds so impressive that they'll groom you to become a future leader and all, but I'm really not sure if I'm up to it. That's why I'm scared.

It's not that I don't have confidence in myself though. I think I can I go through it and come out much better. It's just the thought of that little possibility that I might not make it that scares me.

But, I just have to say that I'm glad I got the scholarship. At least I can relax a lot more. I'm going to call the PSC lady tomorrow to confirm some things before I really decide if I'm going to sign on the dotted line.

I'm happy! Woohoo! :)

I've been applying for loads of scholarships the past few days, and it has been a mad rush. Almost all the deadlines are today, and I took leave today specially to complete my applications.

The past few days, I've been reaching the office early since it's the school hols and there's no jam, and my Dad wants to go early so we don't have to pay ERP. So I reach at about 7.30am, 1 hour before work starts. Anyway, it's been good because I get an hour to type my scholarship essays. So it's been like that every morning for some time now.

And then, I bring food for lunch so that I can stay in the office to type my essays some more. And when I reach home in the evening, it's some more type type typing after 8pm.

I just completed all my applications, and I'm one happy girl now.

Work has just begun to get more and more busy, and I'm actually very happy to do OT since I get paid, and it's just lots of routine stuff. So why not?

The thing is, I couldn't work OT the last week cos I had to rush home for all these scholarship stuffs. But now that it's all over, I'm going to have a lot more time for myself.

I applied for NUS, SGX, SIA, FIREfly, MAS, PUB and LTA scholarhships. A whole load of them. It's mostly because my conditional offer from PSC has yet to be finalised. It's that kind of feeling where they first tell you "hey, you got the scholarship!" then they take it away from you, leaving you empty and bare. The PSC lady said that the board will have to consider again, on a case by case basis, so nothing's confirmed. It's not a nice feeling.

I've also considered the bond. And although I must say I'll be happy to serve my bond at some organisations, there are one or two that don't really interest me, and those are the ones I just applied for fun. I wonder how many of them will actually consider my application seriously and call me up for an interview.

I think I wrote quite a lot about my CCAs and stuff, and it's quite impressive I guess. I really put a lot of effort into all those essays, and I really hope that someone high up there actually gets to read it seriously before it gets chucked into the"reject" bin or something.

Anyway, I'm just hoping for the best. I went for open houses the recent weekend, and had to sacrifice my precious sleep and shopping. I'm looking forward to having a good break this weekend.

Anyway, with regards to my university applications, my first choice is the double degree for Econs and Law at NUS. My second choice is Econs single degree there. Though I heard from some of my supervisors that NUS Econs is not really recognised, I have already made up my mind. At first, I was swayed to take up Business or Accountancy instead, because of what they said. But when I saw the curriculum topics for Econs, my eyes lit up, and I realised that Econs is really what I'm interested in. Business and Accountancy is fine, but that just wouldn't be the same. It would always be only my second choice.

So, if I fail to get into the double degree course, which is very vey competitive (only 15 students!!) I decided that I shall try to join the University Scholars Programme (USP) at NUS to add more value to my supposedly not-very-recognised degree.

The open houses were fine, and I thought NTU's was a lot, a lot more fun than NUS'. I think it's the atmosphere and the way they welcome you to their school. On Saturday, I went for both. On Sunday, I went back to NUS again, to give them a second chance to impress me or something, if not I wouldn't be happy to go there. And luckily, they sort of did.

I didn't go to SMU though. I decided that I didn't like the school anymore, so I'm not even going to apply for SMU. It's kinda weird actually, because when I was in year 1, I some how just wanted to go to SMU. Now, I'm not even considering it...

I think it's a big step from JC to uni. And the course I get really determines a lot about my future career. I just hope to get what's best for me, though I may not even know what it is right now!

I got 4 A's, A2 for GP, and a merit for Econs S.

I'm really pleased with myself, and I must say that I was expecting 4 A's. GP is good, better that I thought I would get. And the Maths and Econs S papers were really tough, so a merit for one and an ungraded for the other is quite ok for me.

I think I can qualify for the PSC scholarship already. I'm gonna call PSC for confirmation or something. I'm really happy. Whoo!

Results are going to be released tomorrow, and I'm not very nervous.

I guess it's because I'm already numb to it all.

When I got the PSC acceptance letter, I actually cried a lot. Not because I was happy, but because I was stressed.

I feel as if everything is on the line. If I do well, I'll get my PSC scholarship (probably even multiple scholarship offers), go to a great school, graduate with great honours, and land myself a great job that pays well. Great!

But if I don't, I can't get my scholarship, I probably can't go overseas for Masters cos it'll be too expensive, I'll be second grade to those who have Masters degrees, and then get a second grade job. My life would then suck real bad. Well, maybe not too bad, cos I don't think I'll do too terribly.

I think A's are super important, because with A level results, you decided which course and university you can go to, which affects your career choices very much, which then decides your life.

Whatever it is, I don't know what to feel. I'm a lot less worried than I thought I would be. I'll probably fall asleep soon after I lie down in bed cos I'm terribly tired.

I think I won't do well for S papers, and that's what I most worried about.

As for the other papers, I actually think I will do not bad. 4 A's is very possible, I think. Though I really have a nagging feeling of doubt at the back of my head as I'm typing this.

The best would be for me to see my name up on the board (where they post the names and results of the top students). I really hope my friend, or my junior would call me before I reach school tomorrow to tell me that my name is up there.

Well, we'll leave everything till then. I'm just going to sleep and hope I don't have a nightmare about my results.