ICE.COLD.COFFEE

Results are going to be released tomorrow, and I'm not very nervous.

I guess it's because I'm already numb to it all.

When I got the PSC acceptance letter, I actually cried a lot. Not because I was happy, but because I was stressed.

I feel as if everything is on the line. If I do well, I'll get my PSC scholarship (probably even multiple scholarship offers), go to a great school, graduate with great honours, and land myself a great job that pays well. Great!

But if I don't, I can't get my scholarship, I probably can't go overseas for Masters cos it'll be too expensive, I'll be second grade to those who have Masters degrees, and then get a second grade job. My life would then suck real bad. Well, maybe not too bad, cos I don't think I'll do too terribly.

I think A's are super important, because with A level results, you decided which course and university you can go to, which affects your career choices very much, which then decides your life.

Whatever it is, I don't know what to feel. I'm a lot less worried than I thought I would be. I'll probably fall asleep soon after I lie down in bed cos I'm terribly tired.

I think I won't do well for S papers, and that's what I most worried about.

As for the other papers, I actually think I will do not bad. 4 A's is very possible, I think. Though I really have a nagging feeling of doubt at the back of my head as I'm typing this.

The best would be for me to see my name up on the board (where they post the names and results of the top students). I really hope my friend, or my junior would call me before I reach school tomorrow to tell me that my name is up there.

Well, we'll leave everything till then. I'm just going to sleep and hope I don't have a nightmare about my results.